11.19.2004

Rolling Stone Magazine Sucks!

OK everybody, prepare for a rant.

Rolling Stone magazine has once again compiled one of their stupid best of lists. They had a panel come up with the "The 500 Greatest Songs Of All Time." Originally I saw this story, along with the top 100, on another website. They said it was the Top 500 Greatest ROCK Songs Of All Time. I've since read the Rolling Stone site and found it was"The 500 Greatest Songs Of All Time" IN THE ROCK & ROLL ERA. That makes me feel just a tiny bit better about some of these songs.

OK here goes:

Can somebody tell me why the hell Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is #9 all time? My cat Phoebe can walk on one of my guitars and write a better song! Shitvana is on the list like 4 or 5 times. AC/DC is on there twice with "Back In Black" and "Highway To Hell." Where is "You Shook Me All Night Long?" Also, "Back In Black" is #187, while Eminem has a song at #166, and Outkast has one at #180. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! What are these people smoking?

Fleminem is on the list a few times, as is Pubic Enema and N.W.A. By the way, the N.W.A. song is called "Fuck Tha Police." Nice. Real nice to have that on a "Greatest Song" list. Did I mention that this list was compiled by a "panel" of singers and songwriters, critics, and such? This includes Bob Dylan, Brian Wilson (Beach Boys), Joni Mitchell, Simon & Garfunkel, some guy from Wilco, and Ozzy Osbourne. How did these guys agree on putting some of this crap in there?

I noticed that #1 is Bob Dylan's "Like A ROLLING STONE" and #2 was "Satisfaction" by The ROLLING STONEs. Coincidence? Yeah right!

If you sort the list (which the website lets you do) by year, you'll find that the oldest song was from 1948, and it's not until page 9 of 10 that you get to the eighties. This I understand, given the age of the "panel." I'm OK with that. It's when you get to the cRappers and Nirvanas that piss me off. Where Is Ted Nugent? Where is Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Def Leppard, Motley Crue? Are you telling me that Eminem is a better songwriter then all of them. Bullshit!

24 songs in this list of 500 came out 1990 or later. Only 3 came out 2000 or later. I want to know how they are two Eminem songs and one Outkast song. There were no good rock songs to come out in the last 4 years? I can name a a whole load of songs by bands I barely listen to that deserve to be on there before Fleminem and Outhouse. This list is total CRAP.

Here's another mind-blowing fact: Run DMC's version of "Walk This Way" beat out the original Aerosmith version by 49 songs! WHAT!!??

This list was by the same magazine that listed the top 100 guitarists of all time, and put Jack White (from White Stripes) at like #15, while the man who single handedly changed the way the guitar was played in 1978 is like numer #50-something. I'm talking aout Eddie Van Halen. Rolling Stone is just like MTV: they know shit about music.

Just for the record, here are some of my favorite songs that should be on the list.

Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue, The Prisoner by Iron Maiden, Primal Scream by Motley Crue, Fred Bear by Ted Nugent, Back In The Saddle by Aerosmith, Neon Knights by Black Sabath, All Right Now by Free, Flying High Again by Ozzy Osbourne, Shake A Leg by AC/DC, You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC, Panama by Van Halen, The Trooper by Iron Maiden. The list goes on.

In addition, I truly believe the world would be a better place if everybody owned these ten albums:

1. Back In Black by AC/DC (greatest album EVER)
2. Rocks by Aerosmith
3. Heaven And Hell by Black Sabbath
4. The first Boston album
5. The Number Of The Beast by Iron Maiden
6. The First Ted Nugent album
7. The first Van Halen Album
8. Blizzard Of Ozz by Ozzy Osbourne
9. Pyromania by Def Leppard
10. No More Tears by Ozzy Osbourne

There you have it folks, my very humble opinions. Don't you all agree?

Tim



1 Comments:

Anonymous Devon said...

All I can say is I SO agree. I think Rolling Stone is a bunch of sh*ts that know sh*t about music! AND MOVIES! I see Batman Begins getting A reviews from other critics, and their giving it 3 stars! In-f*king-credible! I cant believe that cRap actually made it on the top 100 songs of all time. Thats stupid as hell. I cant wait for the day when people are actually like, "Wow, Why am I actually reading this crap?" and then they go out of business. This is horrbile how a society bases their music and movie likes on critics before they even listen to the freakin album or see the movie! If you wanna see it, GO SEE IT! If you wanna hear it, LISTEN TO IT! Dont let a shit magazine with stupid ass critics tell you what to do, that goes for ANY critics out there. You be your own critic. Only you can say whats good and whats not. Dont let someone else who gets PAID to do that tell you what is and what isnt. As you can see, Rolling Stone magazine is definitely favored among certain bands and I find that repulsive. I wish Rolling Stone magazine would go to hell and never return. Then I think this music and movie world would be a lot better.

11:31 AM  

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